Producer Mark Mallorca announces the release date for 2012 That’s Funny’s Pilot episode!

Someone or something is killing 2012 enthusiasts. Culp takes the torch in this touching chapter about friendship, hope… and buckets of gore.

WASHINGTON, D.C.

Continuing its “better safe than sorry” approach to the end of the Mayan calendar, the Pentagon has employed Vince Shlomi, creator of the popular ShamWow, to help prevent major flooding on the East Coast.

The government has asked Mr. Shlomi to cease production on his popular dish rag for consumer purchase and instead work on a plan to use the ShamWow to prevent a possible catastrophe ten times the size of the tsunami that hit Southeast Asia in 2004.

In a written statement, Shlomi said “Wow! It is an honor. Wow!” A representative from Mr. Shlomi’s office later clarified, “ShamWow is honored to be involved in this process during our country’s time of need and we will do everything to protect our customers.”

Jennifer Birkenstock moved to California back in the mid-nineties shortly after the Northridge earthquake struck with a 6.7 magnitude.  Birkenstock has what some might consider an earthquake fetish.  She only wishes they would occur more often.

When asked if she had to choose between strong earthquakes spread out over time or more frequent small ones, she finds it hard to decide.  “The big ones really get me excited, but they can be rather destructive.  I think I probably would like small ones more often as long as they are big enough to give me a good jolt.”

After witnessing Mark’s assassination, Lon must warn the rest of his friends to stop promoting 2012. WARNING: Contains extreme violence!