SAN DIEGO, CA

Officials at the San Diego Zoo confirmed today that a woman has died from injuries sustained while trying to obtain a Polar Bear cub.

33 year old Danielle Manson of Irvine, CA, hopped a fence into the Polar Bear enclosure and attempted to grab a newborn cub before the cub’s mother attacked. “She didn’t hesitate” said an eyewitness. “I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing.”

Hours after the attack, videos surfaced on YouTube.com taken from camera phones at the scene. The site has since removed all videos.

When authorities searched Ms. Manson’s home, they discovered twenty-two pairs of other animals. They included dogs, cats, birds, turtles and squirrels. Officials believe she was trying to create a modern-day ark.

Check out other 2012 That’s Funny videos: Blanka ‘Street Fighter’, Smurfs, Vader

ATLANTA, GA

Atlanta Braves relief pitcher, Jimmy Harris, only plans to play baseball for three more seasons. “I’m done after the 2012 season. I think we all are.”

Harris is one of a growing number of professional athletes who believe that the world will end on December 21, 2012 to coincide with the end of the Mayan calendar. However, he is the first to try and cash in on it.

Harris signed a 6-year, $45 million dollar deal on Tuesday, while many inside baseball thought the hard-throwing southpaw could garner between $8 and $12 million a year. Harris took a Doomsday Discount in order to get paid his entire contract before December 2012.

If the world does not end, Harris will essentially play the next three years of his contract for free. It’s a gamble but if Harris is right he will be getting paid 15 million a season as opposed to 7.5 Million if he is wrong. “What’s the point of making 60 million if you’re only going to see half that?” said Harris.

An anonymous source inside baseball understands Harris’ decision and thinks it is only the beginning.

“I don’t suspect this will be the last of these kinds of contracts. Players like guaranteed money. There is no guarantee that we will even be here in 2013, so why not get paid now?”

Harris made 70 appearances last year with a 0.79 ERA and 94 strikeouts while saving 56 games.