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Sep 28

California Woman Hopes the End Comes In a Series of Earthquakes

EarthquakeJennifer Birkenstock moved to California back in the mid-nineties shortly after the Northridge earthquake struck with a 6.7 magnitude.  Birkenstock has what some might consider an earthquake fetish.  She only wishes they would occur more often.

When asked if she had to choose between strong earthquakes spread out over time or more frequent small ones, she finds it hard to decide.  “The big ones really get me excited, but they can be rather destructive.  I think I probably would like small ones more often as long as they are big enough to give me a good jolt.”

Birkenstock explains that there is no greater high for her than the adrenaline rush she gets from a good 5.0 or greater.  She says she envies storm chasers and their Doppler radar.  She longs for the day when earthquakes can be predicted and she can chase them across the country and even the world in order to be there when they strike.

She keeps very few possessions making it easy to move around to the most earthquake prone areas of the world.  It also makes the devastation of a particularly powerful earthquake easier to bear because she has very little to lose.  “It’s just me and my Chevy and a dashboard full of bobble-head dolls.”

If anything is going to happen on December 21st, 2012 she really hopes it is a series of tremors that rock the earth to its core.  As she thinks about it, Birkenstock’s eyes go a little glassy as she lets out a pleasurable sigh, “What a way to go.”

Posted by Kit Xander
Tags: 2012 Apocalypse California comedy destruction disaster earth Earthquake end of the world fetish funny pleasure prediction storm chaser Stupid tremors world

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